写给海鲂

给多莉的信

大卫埃普斯顿

亲爱的平底小渔船,

真的,过去几周的事件及其最近的决议对联盟有益,你不会说吗?所以让我在一些细节中审查这一点。

你说你“和妈妈会话后没有感觉很多......我对整个事情生气了”。在反思上,你以为“现在我觉得有点抱歉......我在另一个地方......我感到不可触碰,那么上升”。因此,你“没有得到多大的话题”。但是,你的反厌食是“本周早些时候在工作中,我讽刺地意识到我在过去一个月被她(厌食症)控制着”。你以为它必须要做“有很多人来处理”你觉得“我不得不控制”。然后它恍然大悟,就像太阳升起并倾向于夜晚的黑暗,“贪食症都把我推入厌食”。

这并不是新的,但是小说是“我这次前面的一个微小的步骤”。当我询问 - “怎么样?”你回答说:“我还在这里......我的思绪在这里......我意识到我被欺骗,但它直到周四才”。你告诉我导致你质疑诀窍的线索,然后通过它来看看它 - “我开始避免食物情况和社会情况”。Then you acted against anorexia’s famine regime and started to eat but on this occasion, something else was novel: “I was trying to talk myself through it….I didn’t eat shit food…..I concentrated on the act of eating….I was saying to myself, It is okay. No one was saying that I shouldn’t eat!” Dory, that is everyone that cares about you versus one who wants you dead- anorexia, also know as (aka) bulimia. Dory, you had to admit that this was a great test of your anti-anorexia. And it was not over yet as you were to discover. “The next morning, I felt shitty. I had blown it”. But yet again, you questioned the anorexic allegation that “I had blown it”. It was at this point in your anti-anorexia that “I got this realization. I was back in the cycle, setting myself up to fail”. Or was anorexia setting you up to fail? Dory, you interrupted the feast-famine cycle, the misery-go-round you know so well. Still, it was tempting you to hide, go into isolation, keep away from everybody but instead, you avowed- “NO WAY. I’M GOING TO HAVE LUNCH”. And here you came up with what some anti-anorexic firsts- “I have never given myself a treat without feeling guilty”. What you told me you did instead was- “I recognized what my desires were, satisfied them and haven’t felt guilty”. And you went on to conclude something that I wonder if isn’t a critical discovery- “I’ve been able to recognise the difference between satisfying my desires and ‘being out of control’. And to make your point, you told me you had a Magnum(a chocolate-coated ice cream) which as you put it, “was a real desire I had. I had it and didn’t feel I was naughty”. You summed up this discovery by saying – “I recognise bulimic thoughts from anti-anorexic thoughts. It is really important to distinguish between the two”.

多莉,我能不能代表联盟问你几个问题,帮助你详细解释这个发现,并使它更广泛地提供给那些可能依赖它生活的人:

  • 如果他们不能区分两种反厌食和支持你的思想和贪食症的方式,你认为任何人都会释放任何厌食症(AKA贪食症)吗?
  • What groundwork do you think you have been doing over the last few months that paved the way for you to make these stunning discoveries, given you are currently dealing with the aftermath of surgery and your concerns for your father’s well-being (a recent diagnosis of cancer)?
  • 您认为这是对您生活中的厌食施力的重大突破吗?
  • 你愿意详细解释一下这个发现吗?为了在这个过程中帮助你自己,你可以考虑回答这样的问题——“如果多莉没有做到这一点,却有了和你上周一样的惊人发现,你会给他什么建议?”

这导致了更多的自我照顾,尤其是与你术后身体的关系。你又一次开始关心自己的身体了。你和“自己达成了一个协议,通过不清除来对付贪食症”。当我问你如何在这里保持你的反厌食症的意图时,你告诉我,‘我在自言自语。我在鼓励自己。我正在咬紧牙关做这件事。我认为我的身体形象并不是那么重要!”而且这也不仅仅是一次:“我必须不停地给自己演讲。我很快就会忘乎所以。”多莉,你觉得当你不再为自己说话时,厌食症会影响你说话和/或思考吗? Dory, is this a matter for a kind of aerobics of the mind and spirit? Do you s sense you are getting your mind back into working shape? And is it even possible that anorexia will try to get you to have a PERFECT MIND with PERFECT THOUGHTS and thereby condemn you to perpetual failure?

当我问所有这一切的时候,你想出了一些非常有趣的想法。你以为它有很多事要做,“善待自己对我应该得到的东西”。当我们试图为这一发展找到一个好的表达时,我们会受到自我升值的影响。你说你“借鉴了我过去几个月的经历,爸爸和我的家人。我不会故意使我的生命或父亲的生活更糟糕。我会让我的生活愉快。我不想让他们再次向贪食群岛做贪婪,以及我!“。无论如何,所有这一切都领导了你提到的“改变态度”,从那时起,你一直站在你的地上。

您的摘要如下 - “整件事人一直是自我拒绝和诡计。我不再感到不堪重负。我可以快速赶走“。当它有一个扼杀你的生活时,你将从“损失”中恢复有多长时间,并有一个回收并更新你的反厌疗养倡议?你认为,自我善良“是一种反厌毒性复仇的形式”,而不是要求你通过自我酷刑,自我惩罚或自我否定等来报复自己的贪食等,你报复了在上面。

然后我们认为是时候将你在自尊方面的发展进行分类了,他们是如此之多,即使你不得不承认“我不得不这么做,而且这是一项艰苦的工作!”首先,你认为独立很重要;第二,“做出相当重大的决定”,第三,“承担风险”,第四,“不要太依赖父母”,第五,“依靠自己,即使它告诉我‘我是一个失败者....’你所有的努力都白费了。”第六,“强迫的孤独”让你有时间独处。你认为这样可以让你“了解我自己”。我没有暴食症告诉我的那么糟。我是一个非常有趣、善良和值得信赖的人。”(还有什么新鲜事吗?)你可以看到你的自尊是如何在你和吉姆的关系中表现出来的,并导致了“我们之间的一种不同的感觉。我不再把每件事都放在心上。”有趣的是,你不再把一切都怪我了。你已经找到了一些衡量厌食症/暴食症攻击你的“标尺”——i)忙碌,ii)孤立,iii)“找借口或逃避食物的情况”。 In general, you thought you were living through some “exciting times”.

当我问百叶窗会谈你认为与审查相关的时候,你想出了一些经过验证和真正的贪婪指控 - “我应该怎么看?“我应该适应什么?”“我应该有什么样的生活?”

这是你最后的话——“我现在比以前更有趣了。我想让自己快乐起来,恢复对食物的老习惯。我要放手。我真的想找出我的欲望是什么,尽管它告诉我它们是淘气的。但我现在更清楚地意识到我曾经。它欺骗你在节食的幌子下自我否定。

我期待下次与您审查这些发展。

你的反感,

大卫。

写给海鲂