多莉给玛丽安的信

多莉给玛丽安的信

Dory [23]

问:你是如何克服厌食症/贪食症的?

我不知道我是否来到了我可以克服厌食症和贪食的观点。我认为没有厌食/贪食症是一个正在进行的过程。但我确实认为我的生命中的变化让我开始想要对抗厌食症/贪食症。重要的是要知道没有“奇迹治愈”,虽然我经常祈祷。但是我等待了这个奇迹治愈的月份。没有人经验,事件,变化等阻止了厌食症/贪食症。我相信这是让我克服厌食/贪食症的观点的事情的结合。

让我简单介绍一下背景。我和两个支持我的朋友搬进了一间公寓。我觉得暴食症影响他们是不公平的。有趣的是,当我和父母住在一起的时候,我并没有这种感觉。暴食症在家里是最严重的。我的父母试图理解和支持我,但所有的独立感和对我生活的掌控感在家里消失了——我不想尝试和抗争。这套公寓给了我一种强烈的独立感——我必须对多莉和她的生活负责——我没有被“监护”。我被当作“正常人”对待,这很有帮助。我的父母也试图这样做,但我不需要控制,因为他们在那里控制和“抚养”我。我放弃了在家里照顾自己和健康的所有责任。 I started a new job. I had been forced to leave my previous employment because of bulimia/anorexia. I was determined to not let this happen again. I NEEDED the new environments of home and work. I began to exercise in a ‘healthy’ way. At first this was an attempt to ‘balance the scales’ ie. if I ate, I would exercise to negate the effect the food had had on my body. Slowly this stopped being so important. My body started to become strong and healthy- I felt good about this! Exercise was also a ‘a time filler’ ie. as bulimia/anorexia became a lesser part of my life, I had more time at my disposal. Initially this scared me a lot- I was frightened to spend time alone in case I was bulimic. Over time, I realized I was the controller of an episode, not bulimia.

我的生活变得越充实——新工作、新公寓、健身房、家人和朋友——暴食的时间越少,我也越不想暴食。我有更多的时间去重新发现是什么给了多莉快乐,我的欲望、欲望、希望等等,更重要的是,我觉得这些都是我应得的!我有更多的时间去想其他的事情,除了贪食症之外的其他人。我不再不断地思考贪食症/厌食症,开始审视自己。通过与大卫的合作,我学会了退后一步,将自己的情绪、感受等具体化。我知道问题出在贪食/厌食,而不是多莉。我学会了体验自己的感情而不是封闭自己。我让我的感觉“说话”,而不是贪食/厌食症。

当我意识到我有选择的时候,我可以走出去。我也改变了我的关注点。我不再关注暴食症,而是开始关注外部因素。曾经有一段时间,我觉得自己无法出门。战斗似乎是不可能的;我别无选择。我只是能把多莉和贪食症分开。我怎么能和不存在的东西对抗呢!我不知道从哪里开始。屈服于暴食症,过着暴食症的生活要容易得多。 I couldn’t think logically or objectively. I lost the ability to ‘weight up’ situations and see both sides. Bulimia only ever offered one side- the losing side.

我控制了我的生活。我相信自己的收益。我觉得自信。我在自己的生活中感到强大。我已经在更深层次的水平上发现了自己。厌食症和贪食妇的女人Hid从未离开过;她刚等待被揭露并重新发现。自由之旅并不是一个简单的旅程。花了时间!面对贪食和厌食症令人难以置信的痛苦,有时压倒性。 The path of self-exploration I took gave me the space and time to learn more about Dory. I realised I had a deep inner strength. I also learned to be patient with myself and I tried not to be so hard on myself. I experienced a number of come-backs and overtimes which I found difficult to cope with. But I realised it was not the end of the world. It became easier to recover from a set-back and in fact they now made me more determined to win. The more I lead an anti-anorexia/anti-bulimic life, the harder I worked to make it endure.

问:在这个过程中有什么步骤吗?

我想克服厌食症和贪食症的步骤。最重要的一步是我想克服贪食症。我真的相信这是我康复的基础。我想要一个生活,我想快乐。我被厌倦了和贪食症厌倦了。生命正在我身边,我失踪了。我被感到如此悲惨和绝望的感觉。从根本上说,我意识到我是一个好人,值得更多。Dory应得的幸福。我不值得觉得如此内疚。 I had a choice, a choice every minute of the day. I did not have to ACCEPT anorexia and bulimia. Through my sessions with David, I began to ‘see through’ anorexia and bulimia. I started to “see’ the ultimate betrayal. I got angry at anorexia/bulimia.

多莉给玛丽安的信